One of the best things about being a witch is that we do not have to wait for things to happen for us, we take control of situations for ourselves. Many times, we have people in our lives who started out pleasant, whom we enjoyed spending time with but as time wore on, we discovered their hidden issues.
Sometimes, they are “drama mammas’ or “drama papas”, those people for whom everything in life is a drama. They are not happy unless there is something to complain about and bemoan. Even the smallest problem in their world becomes the size of the Hindenburg and flames down around them without the slightest provocation. When there is no drama, they happily create it for themselves and everyone else around them. They have convinced themselves that they cannot live without it.
Other times, there are the “not good enough” people. These expect everyone to do everything for them. They contribute nothing but complaints about everyone and everything around them. Nothing is good enough for them; because they judge everything and everyone (other than themselves) to such exacting standards that no one can meet them. If they do something wrong or something that is not up to their previously expressed exacting standards, then the excuses fall like rain, all around them. If, by some chance their standards are met, then these “not good enough” people fabricate a problem about which they might complain.
Then you have the “poor me” types. These are the ones that no matter what has happened to others, the “poor me” people had or have it worse. Someone in the room had a broken limb, well it is nothing like the broken limb the “poor me” had last year. Having trouble with finances, well your trouble is nowhere near as serious as the trouble the “poor me” is experiencing. Recovering from a car accident, just wait until you hear how the “poor me” narrowly escaped a fatal accident just minutes before.
Finally, you have the “negative Ned” and “negative Nelly” types. These are the ones for whom nothing good ever happens. They cannot remember a time in their lives that was not miserable. They had terrible childhoods. Their parent(s) were abusive or absent. They had no siblings or ones who merely added to their misery. They never dated or currently cannot get a date. They never married, married the wrong person, or married an abuser like their parent. Their children, if they have any, are rude, mean, and/or disrespectful to the “negative Ned” or “negative Nelly”.
We all have our own moments of drama, negativity, and self pity, the point is to keep them short, private, and to consciously choose to move on to better behavior when we notice we are failing. Just as we strive to improve ourselves, we should help others improve, by not tolerating these types of behaviors in people, set some standards for behavior, both for ourselves, and also for the people we allow into our lives. Life is complex enough and challenging enough that we should not have to tolerate people whose chief purpose in life seems to be causing strife and misery in everyone around them.
Some people are ones you may have to retain in your life. A “drama mamma” boss, a “not good enough” father-in-law, or a “negative Ned” landlord are ones that you may have to learn to deal with for at least a limited time. Judge whom you can cut loose without losing any sleep over the losses and whom you cannot, and the ones that you think it is worth the effort to try to save from themselves, by working with them on their issues. I have never believed the saying that people cannot change. I have seen some people change for the better and some people change for the worse. It all depends on the willingness to change and the effort the person puts into it.
Once you have winnowed out the keepers, decided which ones need removal, to oust the people from your life who are a constant drain on you, start with a Disconnect Bath Spell. I would go so far as to suggest using Waning Moon Water with the spell to ensure you get rid of the ones needing removing. This insures that they not “connected” to you and are easier to remove from your life.
Afterward, you might choose a mass blocking of them from your life through an herbal spell. Take a piece of black cotton linen approximately five inches squared and lay it out on your altar or sacred space. Use a teaspoon each of geranium, black pepper, burdock, and marjoram, write the names of the people you are releasing from your life on small strips of parchment and add them to the pile of herbs. Tie the package up into a bundle with the names and herbs inside using a length of black ribbon. Take it outdoors and burn in a fire outside your home to allow their influence in your life to burn and the smoke of their connection to you blow away on the wind.
Another helpful way of getting rid of the people from your life is to buy or make a jar of Four Thieves Vinegar. Setting this aside for a bit, using the principles of the parchment spells, write the name of the person or persons you want to get rid of on individual pieces of parchment, use the ban symbol of a red circle with a line through it, place these strips in a small jar. When you have all the names collected, count them and add them to a small jar. Add a small pinch of graveyard dirt from someone who protected you during their life for each name, then fill the jar two-thirds full of Four Thieves Vinegar, take it to a fast moving and deep stream or river nearby that flows away from your home and gently toss it into the water. Make certain not to break the jar, because as the jar is carried away from you, the people will be carried away from your life as well. They may physically remain in the same area, but their lives will lose more and more interaction with yours the farther the bottle travels.
Using black salt to get rid of people is helpful, or for particularly egregious offenders that you cannot seem to get rid of any other way, you may choose to work a Go Away Spell to make certain that they are out of your life once and for all.
The point is, that as a witch, you do not have to simply wait for someone who is bringing negativity into your life to go away, you can send them away and make them stay out if you choose to do so.