You know how losing a loved one is a tragic affair and you miss them constantly? You cannot speak to them anymore, you cannot ask their input in decisions and talk about concerns you have? Well, with Azrael, it is not exactly like that. He is gone, but does not like the fact that he cannot have input, so he finds a work around. With me, it has been the dream state. In the beginning for the first few years, especially, it was a few dreams a week, then once a week at least.
He is not around as frequently as he was in the first decade after he crossed over. Perhaps that is because I keep telling him to butt out of one specific decision in my life he keeps harping on. His monthly opinion, since a couple of years after his crossing, is that I am supposed to move on with my life and become romantically involved with someone else. As such, I tell him to butt the hell out of that decision. When you have had the best, you do not need the rest. Period!
Other times, I have heeded his advice as passed on in dreams. When the dotcom I was working for started dotbombing, I left the company while I still had savings and the paychecks were arriving sporadically at best. Where did he suggest I go? Why, to the huge international telecom corporation he had worked at before his passing, of course. I followed his advice and had almost a decade of great fun, getting to know the wonderful people he worked with and meeting new ones as they arrived. My Facebook friends list is probably a quarter or more made up of the wonderful friends I made while working there.
He helped me decide stocks to choose, when I researched them and chose from research alone, they were passably helpful and had slow growth, when I listened to the dreams and saw his opinion on which ones to choose, I have had growth percentages from the high thirties to mid eighties.
He helped me decide to leave the area I moved us into just after he crossed over and move into this new home. Turned out to be a great boon as we ended up paying 7K less for a house with an additional 688 square feet of space, than there was in our old house. Which is helpful now that I have added a brother, pregnant niece, great nephew, and great niece to the household, not to mention the two dogs.
We have a certain friend, Lotus Butterfly, who said she tends to channel him during card readings. She has always had talent with tarot, but swears that her accuracy has improved when he is with her. All I know is that the last reading she did for me, he used her to slap me in the face with some uncomfortable truths that I have been acting on ever since.
Another friend kept being awakened at night, the first year in particular, as he would kick her bed and his voice would sound in her ear, telling her tasks she needed to perform for her health. She had been diagnosed just before Az passed with a serious long-term health issue. Her husband said he felt the bed being kicked but did not hear Az as Veiled Lady did, but he knew they had a strong bond of friendship, so as he put it, “Better Az chewing her out than me. She can still punch me in the arm, she can’t get to him.”
Az may be physically gone, but there is no way we will ever forget him because he still pops into dreams here and there to nag us when we need to do something. He puts his nose into tarot readings and numerological readings to lead when he wants us to go. He always worried about his loved ones. He always will. That is just how Azrael is, here or gone, does not seem to matter. Almost sixteen years later, he still chews on me at least once a month.